The Power of Seeing, Listening, and Feeling: Lessons from the Crisis Helpline

Last week, I ended a long call on the crisis helpline that left a lasting impact on me. There was a heaviness in the air, a weight I couldn’t shake. Several people called, each feeling so deeply disconnected and hopeless, trapped in their pain. One caller’s story stood out. After nearly 20 years of working, the person shared that she no longer saw the point in living.

Hearing her words hit me hard. For a moment, I felt the familiar tug of helplessness. In the past, I would have been consumed by that feeling, overwhelmed by the thought that I wasn’t doing enough to help her. But this time, I remained calm. I didn’t try to fix her, solve her problems, or even offer advice. All I did was be there—listening, validating her feelings, and letting her know I heard her.

She shared something that really stuck with me: everyone around her wanted her to “get better” or “fix” herself. They told her she should be feeling better by now, but she didn’t. The pressure to simply “snap out of it” made her feel even more stuck, as if she were failing by not being okay. And isn’t that something we all experience? We deny our emotions, thinking they’re wrong, that we shouldn’t be feeling this way. But when we suppress or hide how we truly feel, we only hurt ourselves more over time.

Then this week, during the long Thanksgiving weekend, I had another shift on the crisis line. The very first call I took began with relief: “Oh my God, I’ve been waiting for hours to talk to you!” This person had been longing for connection, just waiting for someone to pick up the phone and listen. That moment made me realize again how powerful it is to simply be there—to listen, to truly see the person on the other end of the line.

It felt different this time. There was something in the air—perhaps the spirit of Thanksgiving—that filled me with gratitude for my ability to be there for others and for everyone who has supported me on my journey. But it also made me reflect on the importance of being seen and heard.

These two shifts reminded me of something profound: sometimes, the most meaningful way to help someone isn’t to try and fix their problems or make their pain go away. It’s to connect with them on a human level, to acknowledge their emotions and let them know they aren’t alone. Whether it’s a woman who feels trapped by expectations or someone waiting for hours just to talk, we all need that sense of connection. We all need to feel seen and heard.

And it’s not just about others—it’s about ourselves, too. We often silence our own emotions, telling ourselves we shouldn’t feel this way or that we need to be stronger. But true strength comes from embracing how we feel and giving ourselves permission to express it. When we acknowledge our feelings, without judgment or the urge to fix everything, we create space for healing.

In both of these shifts, the power of seeing and listening became clear to me. It’s not about having the right answers or making things better—it’s about being there for others and for ourselves. It’s about offering a safe space where emotions can exist without pressure or judgment. And it’s about trusting that we all have the strength within us to navigate through our darkest moments, even when we can’t see it ourselves.

So the next time you’re with someone who’s hurting, or when you’re facing your own inner struggles, remember this: you don’t have to fix it all. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply listen, connect, and allow yourself to feel.