Breaking Through the Most Common Wealth Blocks: The Sense of Unworthiness and Lack of Value
Today, I met with one of my mentors to review my business progress. Before the meeting, I kept reminding myself not to offer to pay the bill first. If the other person insists on paying, I should graciously accept their gesture. If not, I will just pay for myself.
All my life, I’ve had the habit of paying for others and never feeling comfortable receiving help. When someone buys something for me, I make sure to remember and repay them in full.
Before I began this journey of self-awareness, my default interaction style was rooted in pleasing others. It was exhausting.
Finding the Root Cause of Inner Turmoil
Three years ago, I walked into a therapist’s office for the first time with a pressing question in my heart: “Why do I have these painful thoughts and behaviors that constantly drain me?”
I went through many therapists but never found the real answer. It wasn’t until I started studying financial psychology that a beam of light finally shone through that tightly closed door.
Reflecting on My Family of Origin: The Roots of My Limiting Beliefs
Growing up, our family went from having very little to having some wealth and then losing it all again. Observing how my siblings and I navigated life, I began to see a pattern—each of us subconsciously held onto a deep loyalty to a statement my mother often repeated: “Having so many daughters is useless.”
I was born into a traditional family that valued boys over girls. From the day I was born, I was not welcomed or celebrated. My mother once said I was the family’s last hope, but when I turned out to be a girl, my parents handed me over to my childless uncle’s family. When they visited, they saw me crying alone, completely neglected, and eventually took me back. This early sense of abandonment and insecurity has stayed with me all my life.
Childhood Conditioning: The Birth of My “Unworthiness”
Although I may have had moments of joy in my childhood, the memories that dominate are those of harsh criticism, neglect, and emotional abuse. My mother would often say, “You’re useless,” sometimes in front of others, humiliating me intensely. In response, I started doing more chores—cooking, cleaning, babysitting my nieces—becoming the “dutiful child” in the eyes of our neighbors. Unconsciously, I believed that this was the only way I could earn my parents’ love and approval.
But little did I know that this deeply ingrained sense of unworthiness and lack of value was taking root within me, shaping my life, relationships, and career.
Why Does Financial Success Always Feel Out of Reach?
My goals always seemed out of reach. Why?
In my career, I would settle for less despite having the capability to achieve more.
In relationships, I struggled with constant challenges.
I turned down better job offers out of fear and stayed in my comfort zone.
Even when I had the chance to take on stable entrepreneurial roles, I would opt for uncertain opportunities just to “prove myself.”
The Turning Point: Discovering the Core Block
I began to turn inward, tracing each thought, examining each emotion, and observing my beliefs. Finally, I found the root cause: my sense of unworthiness and inadequacy. This limiting belief was severely holding me back from reaching my true potential.
Uncovering Hidden Patterns: It’s Not Just About Paying the Bill
A seemingly trivial act—like feeling guilty about accepting someone’s help or justifying compliments from others—is a sign of hidden unworthiness. I would often deflect praise, saying, “Oh, I’m really not that good.”
These subtle behavioral patterns reveal a deeper, subconscious money mindset. To break through these wealth blocks, we must start by changing even the smallest actions.
Shifting the Cycle: Changing Beliefs, Changing Results
Our beliefs drive our actions, our actions create our results, and our results, in turn, reinforce our beliefs. It’s a cycle. If we don’t break this cycle, we’ll remain trapped in self-imposed limitations, unable to expand our financial energy.
Transforming Old Narratives to Unlock Financial Energy
Tossing out old beliefs and reestablishing new ones is the key to transforming our energy and achieving breakthroughs.
Only when we shatter these limitations can we truly embrace the power of "Yes!"—the power to welcome happiness, take decisive action, lead with confidence, and achieve genuine ease in our relationship with wealth.